Shadow Moon - 7/14

Author: Daniela
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Pairing: Sterek
Rating: PG13
Category: Angst, Romance, Humor
Series/Sequel: Lunation
Disclaimer: I don´t own them. Nobody is capable of owning them.
Summary: What happened after Derek was forced to kill Boyd?
Warnings: M/M, Slash, Spoiler for season 3a
Feedback: Doesn´t scare me.
Email: daniforblue@yahoo.de
Released: February 2014
Word Count: 2.626
Beta: badly_knitted

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Stiles sniffed, agonized. The whole loft stank of death and sorrow. He repressed the urge to run away from this place of haunting scents. He longed to run far away and never ever come back. Only the sight of Derek's crumbled shape seeking cover on the sofa at the wall held him back. How could he leave him now? Since when did he leave someone in the lurch? Oh, really? What was he supposed to do? And why should he anyway? Derek was the one who had left him behind. Ever since he had learned that the jerk was still alive he had been too pissed to even talk to him. Today he only rushed here to help Derek fight the alpha pack. He came too late, though. Crap!

Just now Scott and Lydia took care of transferring Boyd´s body to Deaton´s clinic; a devastated Cora in tow. That creep Peter had left without an explanation to go wherever and was once again useless. Asshole! Isaac escorted Miss Blake home. Surprisingly she didn´t argue to stay with Derek. Miss Blake. His teacher. Derek´s lover as he figured out. Fuck! He sniffed once more and realized only he and Deaton were left to take care of Derek. Perfect. He hadn´t seen Derek since Derek had refused to be touched by him. Since he had run off to seek comfort in Miss Blake´s arms. Since he hadn´t let him be a part of his pack or his plans. So didn´t he deserve what had happened to him? Oh come on, you don´t mean that. "Derek. Hey. What d'you think about going upstairs and getting some rest?" He just said that to say something but to his surprise the broken figure of a once mighty alpha picked himself up and climbed the spiral stairs, though with trembling limbs and without making a sound. Okay. Good. The loft downstairs was no place to linger for reasons both emotional and physical.

"Somebody should stay with him," Deaton said as calm as ever, apparently not in the slightest damaged by his near death experience a few hours ago.

"What?" Stiles broke out of his numbness. Seeing Derek in so much pain crashed and burnt all of his anger to...well...ashes. Even after he had witnessed Miss Blake kissing Derek on the cheek and murmuring sickly soothing words to him he wasn´t able to detest Derek. That Derek and his teacher were obviously involved had been a terrible blow. Yet he didn´t get Deaton´s intention. "Certainly not me." Not you. He had never hated a teacher, not even Mr. Harris who had hated him, no, he had liked Miss Blake. Mm. That was over, right? He wondered if that was the reason why she had eyed him so strangely in class this morning. Did she know something? Did Derek tell her about them? Did she see him as a rival? And was he even?

"Do you really mind that much?" Deaton pressed softly.

"N-Why me? We are not friends. We barely know each other."

"I had a different impression," Deaton dead-panned.

Oh God. Of course. Deaton caught us kissing at the clinic. How could I forget? Stiles fought a panic attack. Run! Derek had never declared what that thing going on between them meant. Maybe Derek had just used him as a temporary boytoy until he got into a new love with that woman. Ah shit. Fuck my life. All this was so unfair. Yeah. Okay. Fine. Still he couldn´t hate Derek. Not after what had happened today. Not after Derek was forced to kill Boyd, a member of his pack. Derek had gone through enough. He didn´t need petty sentiments like feeling unvalued or jealous right now but friendship and compassion. "So? We have nothing in common. We have no connection whatsoever. We..."

"Mr. Stilinski," Deaton interrupted amiably but pointedly. "Don´t work yourself up. You can leave if you want."

"What about you? Why don´t you stay with him?" He couldn´t bear to be pinned down like this any longer. This was nerve racking. Yeah. His nerves were wrecked. Also, due to staying with Derek in the water for so long, his shoes and socks were soaking wet and his feet were really cold.

"I have a lot to do. I have to make sure that this terrible day doesn´t end in total disaster."

Oh, really? "Okay," Stiles spluttered. "I'll stay...well...until Derek´s family is back."

"Good. Your sacrifice will be noted."

Is he mocking me? Is he? Stiles wasn´t sure. He just mused over how a man who only just escaped death could be so smug. "Don´t mention it."

"I won´t," Deaton said wryly and left.

No kidding! Sullen he followed Derek upstairs and found him lying on a mattress on the ground, a rotten thing that looked like a relic from the old Hale house. Holy God! Hopefully he was wrong. Having to deal with one damaged alpha who didn´t make a sound or move a muscle was enough. At least Derek had changed into dry clothes. Maybe he had fallen asleep. Stiles bent down to him. "Derek?" No. The wolf´s eyes were open and he looked right...through him. Oh shit. There was not the tiniest light in those otherwise sparkling green eyes. Just as if what was left of Derek´s spirit had died with Boyd today. "Um..." Stiles felt worse than the time Derek had slammed his head into the dashboard. "...you really need to rest a bit." No reaction. Quickly Stiles looked around and found a blanket to cover Derek with. "Come on, try to relax...close your eyes, okay? I´m here." He knelt down at the edge of the mattress slightly touching Derek´s arm.

Derek winced.

Stiles jerked his hand away. "S-sorry. I just...crap!" This was so not fair. Why was it his responsibility to take care of him? What about his girlfriend Jennifer Blake? Yuck! Just thinking her name made him feel sick. What had happened between Derek and her? What had they done? Was she allowed to touch him? Did she fuck him? Did he lick her too? Did he? Hey! So not important right now. Derek is hurt. Derek is in really bad shape. He needs me. Derek is looking right at me... Oops! "H-hey."

Derek gripped Stiles´s arm, almost crushing the bones.

Okay. Hot! Hot! But not in a good way. Derek is burning up. "Aaah...don´t get angry. Nobody here to hurt you. Just me..."

"Cora..."

"...is safe."

"Why...you?"

"Um...Deaton said you can´t be left alone."

"Go home," Derek rasped. His eyes darkened to the point of being almost colorless.

Creepy fuck. Just minutes ago he would have run off easy hearing those words, but not anymore. "No." Derek was looking really bad. Derek was in need...of someone. Maybe not him but someone. So he didn´t have a choice. "I´m staying right here, sourwolf." The tease went up in smoke, though Derek didn´t let go of his arm. "Nothing you can do about it. Aren´t you already used to me being a pain in the neck?" His knees started to hurt due to his position and he lowered himself down, stretching his body out next to Derek. Images of the last time they had been together rushed through his mind. Derek giving him nips like kisses. Derek licking him open. Derek letting him taste his own cum. Shame on me. Who´s the freak now? Who is the worst ever? Derek didn´t help him to fight those images by still holding on to his arm. His breathing, though, slowed down and his body went slack. Stiles craned his neck to look Derek in the face. His eyes were mercifully closed now but his expression was still tight with sorrow and grief. Derek was way too young for such deep lines marking his face. Stiles resisted caressing those fierce lines; smoothing them out or even kissing them better. No! No touching. No. No. No. Instead he struggled to get rid of his soaked shoes and socks to warm his cold feet. Not that easy with one arm taken over by a wolf. Phew! This was his life. Derek sucked him off. Derek kept his distance. Derek slept with his teacher. Derek this. Derek that. Derek. Derek. Derek. What trouble that guy had brought into his life, so much bliss and misery, and still he couldn´t stay mad at Derek seeing him beaten and defeated like this.

After a lot of fidgeting around he managed the challenge with his shoes and socks and stuck his finally naked feet under the edge of the blanket. He was pretty close to Derek now, like cuddly close. Gosh! What am I doing? He´s still a werewolf with mighty teeth and claws. So? His bark was always worse than his bite. I´m not scared to get bitten only to get my heart broken. God! The heat seeping off of Derek and into him made his toes tingle with warmth and a wave of exhaustion rushed over him. He didn´t care what Jennifer meant to Derek. He was with Derek now. He was here and she was not. He belonged. In surrender, letting go of all his troubles, he drifted off to the land of dreams.

splish-splash He was floating in a sea of blue, colors surging up on high waves, dripping off the crest down to the hollow, and back up again. The simple joy of water flowing merrily, making him feel cool and refreshed and very much alive. Just pretty. Yet he tossed and tumbled in his sleep. He couldn´t believe what he saw and felt. He couldn´t believe how happy and comforted he was. He couldn´t believe finding this place full of bliss. No. Not him. Never him. I don´t trust you. Quickly the awesome blue sensation faded away, leaving him behind in a bleak pool of grey.

He woke up surrounded by darkness. Enfolded in the blanket he shared the pillow with Derek. Derek´s neck was submissively exposed to him. Holy Crap! Stiles swallowed. He barely noticed the rain drumming against the windows or the thunder rolling in the sky. Mesmerized by Derek´s pulse beating steadily under the skin he licked his lips. The urge to kiss that spot was overwhelming. The urge to suck and nip the flesh was even stronger. Bite him. Mark him. Make him... God no. He couldn´t. He wouldn´t. Derek trusted him. A sudden flash lit up the room and bathed Derek´s face in gloomy shadows. "Oh Derek. I´m so sorry. I should have been here sooner. I-" He touched the dark lines scarring Derek, caressing them lightly. Derek turned closer, moaning in his sleep. The sound of an utterly beaten creature. "Why did you run away? Why didn´t you let me help you? Why are you so stubborn?" He wrapped his untouched arm around the muscled chest and nestled closer to Derek. "Don´t do this to me again, you hear me? I´ll spank your little werewolf ass if you ever dare..." His eased his face into the comforting hollow of Derek´s neck, breathing soothingly on the desired spot. The wolf´s lean body smoothed into his embrace; his body temperature had dropped to normal. Stiles´s feet however felt pleasantly cozy. As if he had sucked the fever out of Derek and transformed it into healing warmth. Stiles yawned lazily. Natural surrender. So at home already. A speck of light sparked his heart and he let exhaustion wash over him once more.

The next time a crash of thunder startled him from sleep. Wham!

He shuddered briefly and realized that even the weather fitted this night of darkest misery. Fortunately Derek was still asleep. His chest rose and fell with every breath. Small wheezing sounds came from his slightly open mouth. The two front bunnyteeth which were pretty unsuitable for a beastly werewolf challenged him cheekily between the gorgeously shaped lips. God help me. He yearned for a kiss. He simply drooled to touch. A new flash illuminated the room and revealed a shape standing at the stairs. Stiles shrieked.

"I see everything worked out just fine."

Deaton. "Good. You are back." Stiles scrambled to his feet. Well. He tried. Derek´s tight grip was still holding him back. Exasperated he plucked finger by finger off his arm. A forced separation that made him groan in pain. God! "I really have to go home."

"Looked like you´re already there."

Even in the gloomy light Stiles noticed Deaton´s amused expression. "Ha! Ha! Good one." Flustered he picked up his shoes and socks and rushed down the stairs. Barefoot. Hastily he started the car. The Jeep roared awake. Still barefoot he speeded home. Luckily he wasn´t caught by the police. By his dad the sheriff for example. That would be fun. The worst scenario ending for a really shitty day. Ouch!

He crashed into his bathroom and ripped his clothes off. The hot shower felt like entering heaven after going through hell. One look at his arm made him flinch. The mark of Derek´s fingers gripping him was still there. He shivered despite the hot water running down his body. He dropped against the tiles. He realized he could try running away but still he wouldn´t be able to stop thinking about one lonely wolf. He had to go back there and talk to him. Yeah. He had to be there for him no matter how embarrassing this might turn out for himself. Ah. Crap!

In the morning he really did go back but learned from Cora that Derek was gone. He was hiding at a secret place known to the Hale family waiting to heal. Despite Cora´s explanation Stiles was still concerned. Was Derek even able to heal after what they did to him? Would he really come back? Did he even want to come back? Torn, he stayed at the loft and got more insight into Derek´s inner life than he had ever hoped for. Peter of all people Yikes! told him about Derek´s past and how happy and popular he once was. A story that let him see Derek differently. A story that hurt in the worst way. A story that didn´t help to solve his feelings for Derek. No. On the contrary. Now he felt even more drawn to him. That was the tragedy.

He considered his ballsy words to Cora. Did he really intend to ask Derek about Paige or did he just show off a little in front of Derek´s sister to hide his own feelings of loss and guilt? That he really didn´t trust Peter to the last bit of his story was true. So? Could he? Ask Derek about the girl he had loved and then killed? Would he confront him about Miss Blake being his lover also? Would he really dare to say something or just keep his mouth shut and let Derek off the hook? He could, right? He and Derek weren't in any relationship whatsoever. They had a bit of fun, yeah. Derek deserved to have fun. He knew that now. Derek didn´t need any more problems in his life. Not because of his silly crush on him. And it was only a crush, right? Like with Lydia. He had crushed on her for years and nothing at all had ever happened between them, though she didn´t break his little heart. He got over her. How? Well. Making out with a man who got his heart broken at the age of fifteen. Derek fucking Hale.

Crap! When did I fall for this guy anyway and why? Really? Why? This is a much bigger mess than my long lasting yearning for Lydia. This is not going to end well. I bet my ass on that! My very virgin ass!