Gifted - 3/6
Author: Daniela
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Pairing: John Sheppard/Elizabeth Weir
Rating: PG13
Category: Romance, Humor, Angst
Series/Sequel: Dare all Things
Summary: Is this a normal life?
Warning: Adult Fanfiction, Spoiler for Season 1 and 2
Disclaimer: No one of Stargate: Atlantis belongs to me.
Least of all Major John Sheppard. Damn.
Feedback: Yes, please. Every word opens a new gate.
Email: daniforblue@yahoo.de
Released: May 2007
Revised: January 2020
Word Count: 4161
Beta: Isha
"Hey Carson!" John dropped in the infirmary disrupting the peace.
Dr. Carson Beckett looked up from his microscope. "What's up, Major?"
"Nothing in particular. Just coming by," John cheered, shrugging.
Carson frowned. The Major had never come here without a good reason. Something was up indeed. "Aye?"
"I just wanted to pay you a visit."
"If that's it, stop bothering me. I'm busy."
"I see." John shuffled his feet. "Well... now that I'm already here, there is actually something I need to ask you..."
"Aye?"
"Something a man... a doctor will understand."
"What is it, Major? You're wasting me time."
"I'm in need of some condoms," John said in a hushed tone.
"In need of what, please?" Carson said, still focused on his work.
"Condoms!" John blurted out, and winced.
Carson looked up and smiled. "Condoms?"
"Yes," John snapped. "Do you have some?"
"I'm surprised that you of all people are asking for condoms."
"Why? I'm a healthy man with natural needs."
"Are you, lad?" Carson grinned, was almost gloating over the soldier's embarrassment.
"Do you have any or not?"
"Someone is really needy, eh?"
"Carson!" John barked.
"The lucky lady is pushing your buttons pretty good, isn't she?"
"Fine. I'll go and find someone else to ask."
"Who might that be, Major?"
John didn't move a muscle.
"Sure, I have condoms." Carson walked over to a closet. He opened a drawer and rummaged through it.
John exhaled.
"There you go!" Carson put a little box on his palm.
"Thanks." John wasn't looking at him.
"Don't spend them all tonight." Carson smirked. "Our supply is pretty small."
John's ears turned red. "Okay."
"Oh, Major? It's a woman you're getting these for, right?"
"Of course, it's a woman!" John glared at him.
"I hope Teyla is worth the effort."
"It's not Teyla," John snapped, ears blazing red. "It's..."
"Aye?"
"Nice try." John whirled around and hurried out.
Carson went back to his work but the extraordinary event kept him a bit distracted. The Major's elfish ears were crimson red. That's something I never saw on him before. He bent over his microscope but couldn't concentrate. Atlantis' ranking officer in desperate need of condoms. Somewhere a woman is waiting for him to come around. He chuckled. Not Teyla, though. Well, if it's not her there is only one other woman I could imagine to be the one. That possibility would be... Nay. If I hint at such a suspicion she might have had me deported.
*****
John delivered as he had promised to Elizabeth and she thanked him graciously. One of their many problems ceased to exist and in another matter they just got lucky. Even though their passionate meetings became a ritual in the following months, their social life continued to run on a regular basis. If you could call a life in Atlantis regular. The Wraith attacked. Bates was seriously injured. Ford disappeared. Atlantis was almost destroyed and John went on a suicide mission. He survived by sheer chance. Well, in the end some things turned out better than it looked they would be in the beginning.
During all the adventure and drama John and Elizabeth's relationship grew stronger while nobody threw them curious glances, nobody stopped talking when they entered a room; nobody was aware of what was going on between them.
They shared as much private time together as possible but it got harder and harder for Elizabeth to be around John without being able to touch him. His flirting with every pretty woman didn't make it easier to hide her feelings. She felt okay with letting him take her every night, showing him her vulnerability, but she never let go of control by day. At night she was his and he was hers. At night she pleaded him to do her harder. At night she gave herself to him. Once she had even cried. By day she stayed the leader of Atlantis. John never complained and seemed content with their arrangement as well.
John not only felt satisfied with his life in Atlantis but was downright overwhelmed by the way it had turned out. He was the ranking officer and had a lot of friends. The leader of Atlantis was his lover. Elizabeth fit him perfectly. It was almost scary how much they were made for each other. By night they did all the things they couldn't do by day. Though he didn't show how stupidly he had fallen for her. He kept his cool, acted almost too casual, but she wasn't even angry. By day, she argued about many things, numerous matters turned into a discussion, sometimes in a serious confrontation. By night, she didn't argue at all. Everything he did to her in bed found her approval, every kiss and touch was welcomed. He seemed never wrong in satisfying her needs. One day he noticed she had stopped wearing the necklace with the golden heart. He knew it had been a gift from her boyfriend Simon and how much it meant to her. The fact she took it off for good could only imply she... John sighed. Well, I don't know what happened between her and Simon but it's a positive sign she put his gift away. So...
...their secret affair continued to bloom until... one morning Elizabeth came unglued...
...I'm late. Already five days late. Oh dear God. No please. Not this. Not now. When did this...? We always used protection. That can't be... She was pacing through her quarters counting back the days. The result wasn't comforting. One time. He came back from his suicide mission. One weak moment. We weren't thinking. I wasn't thinking. She sighed. Weakness, thy name is John Sheppard. She stopped pacing. I'm stupid enough to have slept with a man without protection. Stupid is not a proper word to describe what I have done considering how old I am. She pulled her arms around herself. What options do I have if I'm pregnant? Giving birth? An abortion? Adoption? Giving his baby away? She had never considered to have a baby. She had never wanted one. She wasn't the woman who wanted to be a mother. Her work had been always her priority in life. A military officer had made her lose her focus. Head over heels she had fallen in love with him and couldn't imagine a life without him anymore. But a baby... no... not this... not now...
*****
The following night she couldn't find any sleep. She tossed and turned around.
John awoke. "Still not worn out? I never had a woman who is so hard to please."
"Don't get cute." She punched him in the ribs.
"Ouch." He pulled her into his arms. "Tell me what's wrong."
"It's nothing in particular. There are just too many things on my mind."
"I'm listening."
"I'm not ready to talk."
"Okay. In case you are, I'm right here," he said, and dropped the matter.
Though she knew he was hurt. I can't tell him. Not yet. First I have to be sure. She snuggled closer to soothe him with her warmth. Shortly after she felt he went back to sleep. She couldn't do the same for hours.
In the morning things were tense. They didn't talk much. They didn't kiss when he left for duty. The second he was gone, Elizabeth rushed to the infirmary. She burst into Carson's sanctuary like a blood-thirsty Wraith might have.
"Bloody hell!" Carson startled from his chair.
"I need a pregnancy test," she disclosed forthright before she could change her mind.
He gaped at her.
"Close your mouth, Carson. It's not unusual for a woman to ask for it, is it?"
"N-no," Carson said, dropping his papers. "Just... you..."
She folded her arms. "Yeah? What about me? Am I not attractive enough to make a man want me?"
"Sure you are. I just didn't know you are involved with anyone."
"Obviously I am."
"Yes...yes. Well, wait a second, please." He walked over to a closet. He opened a drawer and rummaged through it.
Elizabeth counted the seconds until Carson gave her a small box. She just wanted this to be over.
"There you go!"
"Thank you."
"May I ask who the father might be?"
"No, you may not," she snapped. "Don't you dare to talk to anyone about this. Understood?"
He opened his mouth to assure her of his integrity but she was already on her way out. His duties were forgotten. Carson stroked his chin. "Elizabeth...pregnant. I never thought she is the kind of woman who let her feelings control her. Well, I could imagine only one man who is able to...," he considered, curious. "Is it possible that my silly suspicion..."
The door opened. McKay strolled in. "Carson."
"Rodney." His friend was the last person in Atlantis he needed to see right now.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm just thinking."
"About what?"
"Elizabeth."
"Oh."
"Not in this way, lad. I was just wondering if Elizabeth is involved with anyone."
"Not that I know of anyone." Rodney's piercing blue eyes narrowed. "Why is this in any way important?"
"It isn't. I was just wondering..."
"But why?"
"Ermh... for no particular reason."
"You know, you can't keep anything from me, Carson." Rodney showed his I'm a genius smile.
"I... I was just thinking, she is an attractive woman as well as smart and brave. It's a miracle no man has ever even tried."
"Well, if you put it this way, I know about one man for sure who would like to have her."
"Aye?"
"Come on. Major John Sheppard."
"He is Colonel now," Carson corrected him to play for time. He couldn't give up Elizabeth's secret, could he?
"Yes, yes. Whatever!"
Carson ignored the silly outburst because he recalled a couple of catchy events. Their leaders all alone together in one puddle jumper due one stormy night. Their weird behavior since they'd returned. The major asking for condoms shortly after. Elizabeth asking for a pregnancy test just today. "...Dear God..."
"What is it?" Rodney snapped, fidgeting.
Carson shook his head. "I can't tell you."
"Oh, come on. What is this important? You look steamrolled."
"Stop bothering me."
"I won't leave until you tell me."
"Rodney, please."
"No, no, no. I stay right here."
Carson sighed. "Well then, but you have to promise me..."
"Agreed!" Rodney leaned on him. "Spit it out!"
*****
One day later, John walked into the break room. For the reason he was having a lot of hot love last night, he was in the best mood. He was surprised to see McKay and Beckett were already having breakfast because it was early. No one else was around.
"Hey!" John cheered. "Great day, isn't it?"
"I don't know what's so great about it?" Rodney said, sipping his coffee.
"I just thought..."
"We have different problems every day," Rodney snapped, gripping his cup.
"What is it? I'll contact Colonel Caldwell right now."
"Bloody Hell!" Carson spilled drops of his coffee on the table. "Please don't."
"I assume it's not a military problem then, right?" John said, curious.
"It's not your concern," Rodney affirmed. "I would appreciate..."
"I always thought we were friends," John said, pouting.
Rodney rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes. But there are things which are none of your business."
"I understand," John murmured. I don't.
"No, you don't," Rodney snarled.
"Rodney," Carson meddled. "I think we can tell him. After all he is one of us."
"That's right," John said, nodding his head. "We are a team. Buddies even." He pulled himself a chair and sat down. "So? What is it? Something personal I assume, considering your behavior."
"I don't think..." Rodney started and looked at Carson.
"I always considered you for a man of trust and integrity, Colonel Sheppard," Carson said in a low voice.
"Count on it," John whispered, amused by the secretiveness.
"Well, your assumption was right, it's a delicate matter we were discussing and I..."
"Oh please." Rodney nudged him. "Just say it if you have to. It's not as if it's a world threatening secret."
"Well, no," Carson said friendly, "but as you know..."
"Elizabeth is pregnant," Rodney shot out. "She asked Carson for a pregnancy test yesterday."
Dead silence wrapped around the three men. John sat frozen on his chair. He seemed to have stopped breathing.
Rodney stared at him. "Did you understand?"
"Yes," John murmured, tilting his chair.
"Considering who the father might be..." Rodney said, wriggling his eyebrows.
"Don't tell me you know," John interrupted him, irritated.
"I didn't say that," Rodney said, raising his chin. "I think I might know..."
John smirked. "Go on. I'm all ears."
"The only male Elizabeth was keen to talk to in the last couple of weeks is Colonel Caldwell."
John laughed. "You are kidding, right?"
"Do you know any better?" Rodney glared at him. "Now is the time to share your knowledge with us."
John felt a wave of heat crawling up his neck. Crap! I'm blushing. "No. I don't know more than you. But Caldwell! Come on. That's never possible. This is only Elizabeth's business anyway. If she wants to tell us she will." His radio started to crackle. Caldwell! Yay! Saved by the bell. He jumped up almost toppling his chair. "I have to go. Caldwell arranged a sudden meeting."
Rodney and Carson stayed put.
"We scored," Rodney quipped, high-handed.
"Aye. What now?"
"Didn't you listen to our hero? It's not our concern. He thinks he's the clever one, doesn't he? He didn't even notice I tricked him by mentioning Caldwell..."
"I don't know why we told him anyway. This was your idea and I don't think that Elizabeth..."
"I know what I'm doing. It's time to startle our happy couple a little bit. They believed I didn't notice what's going on, genius that I am. They deeply offended me."
"Rodney," Carson groaned. "Please."
*****
A wave of shattering feelings rocked John's world of familiar confidence. Though anger floated on top of them. She's pregnant and didn't tell me. How could she keep it a secret? How could she keep something this important from me? Anger and confusion. Why didn't she tell me? Doesn't she trust me? Doesn't she want me to know? Doesn't she want the baby? My baby. He entered his quarters where he threw his gun on the bed, followed by a little, square box with red ribbons. Doesn't she know how much I need her to trust me? Doesn't she know me? Doesn't she want me in her life after all? Is it just sex for her? He ripped the ribbons apart and opened the box. Inside was a necklace to which a sapphire framed in gold belonged. A miniature Stargate. He'd had let it made for her. A special gift to show her the sincerity of his feelings. He had planned to give it to her tonight. "Damn!" He threw the gift-box at the wall. The necklace dropped out and landed on the floor. He grabbed his gun and ran out to meet with Caldwell. The potential father of her child. In the mood to pick a fight to make his day even worse, he sprinted through the hallway.
*****
A casual and brief meeting took place. Elizabeth appeared as calm and confident as usual. John chipped in a funny comment here and there. Rodney talked on and on.
Just a common meeting on an ordinary day. Though appearances were deceptive. Elizabeth couldn't keep her hands still and her face was awfully pale. The reason was simple. John hadn't visited her quarters for many nights. She didn't understand why. The last time they had made love everything was splendid. Her pride forbade her to ask him what was wrong but something was definitely wrong. He had begun flirting with Teyla and his conversations with Elizabeth were only about Atlantis and the Wraith. They were back to keeping it strictly professional.
Yet stranger was John's provocative behavior towards Caldwell in the last week, as if he wanted to get arrested or send back to Earth for disobeying his superior. Elizabeth didn't understand any of this, though she was anxious to confront him. Right. She dared to look John in the eye. He stared back in a distant and cold way. She shuddered.
Well then! The meeting was over. Elizabeth rose. Time to clear the air.
The team headed for the door. Teyla and John were last, chatting in a low voice.
"Colonel?" Elizabeth called him back.
"Yes?" He barely turned around.
"Can I talk to you for a second?"
"Now? I'm busy. Colonel Caldwell..."
She couldn't bear the wintry green in his eyes. "Fine." She put it off. "Go. It can wait."
He rushed out. The door closed behind him. She was alone.
Elizabeth slumped into her seat and tried to hold back a few stupid tears. Damn you, John Sheppard.
The door opened. Rodney came back in. "I have forgotten my laptop..." Seeing her cry made him stop in his tracks. "Hey! What's going on? What happened?"
"It's nothing," she sniffed. "I got something in my eye..." Why am I acting this childish? This is Rodney. He's my friend.
"Come on. Tell me what's bothering you." He sat down next to her.
"I can't..." She wiped her face. "It's not important anyway... this is my problem, mine for sure."
"Why do you always think you have to deal with everything alone?"
"Rodney... please," she sobbed. Oh God! Pull yourself together.
"What did the superhero do to you?" he said, irritated.
She stopped crying in a blink. "What did you say?"
He rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me there is another human being who is able to make you cry."
"I don't know what you...?"
"Elizabeth! Stop denying the obvious."
"It's obvious," she echoed flatly.
"Yes, it is. So - what did he do?" Rodney patted her back.
"He did... nothing." She chewed at the bitter taste in her mouth. "That's the whole point."
"I see. Doesn't he want the baby?"
"What?" She swallowed. "What baby? There is no baby. Why do you..."
"But I thought..."
"That I'm pregnant? I'm not pregnant. Who told you that?"
"Oh," Rodney sighed, sounding distressed. "That explains a lot."
"That explains what?" she snapped, rather curious than unhappy now.
"Well, it's possible Colonel Sheppard might think you are pregnant."
"Why on earth should he think that?"
"It's my fault. I told him about you taking a pregnancy test two weeks ago."
"Why did you do that?" she murmured, bewildered. "That was none of your... Oh my God... that's why..."
"That's why what?"
She nibbled on her lip. "That's why he doesn't visit my quarters anymore."
"Ah. That's why you're upset."
She flushed. "Rodney..."
He patted her back once more. "Don't be embarrassed. I've known for a long time you were involved."
"Does anybody else know?"
"Uh... no... just... uh... Carson..."
"I always thought Carson was trustworthy. I will..."
"Don't be too hard to him. I made him talk."
"But why?"
"Only to make you and Sheppard taking the next step. I'm tired of your little games to hide the truth."
"Well... that's... hmm..." Rodney is right, isn't he? Though I'm not ready to make my private life public I have to tell at least one human being what's going on. "I have to talk to him."
"Now? He is in a meeting with Colonel Caldwell."
"I don't care. He is the ranking officer in Atlantis. If I need to talk to him, I talk to him."
Rodney grinned. "May I come with you to be of any assistance?"
"Certainly not!"
"Pity."
*****
Elizabeth burst into the military meeting like a bolt out to the blue. "Lieutenant Colonel, I have to talk to you."
Everyone in the room gaped at her. Colonel Caldwell opened his mouth to speak but John beat him by the second. "Has this to be now?"
"Beyond doubt. It concerns personal matters," she said, regardless of any gossip that statement may cause.
"Oh." His expression was priceless. Everybody else kept staring at her.
John cleared his throat. "Colonel... erhm... do I have your permission to leave?"
"Permission granted," Caldwell said, a twinkle in his blue eyes. "Get back ASAP."
Elizabeth didn't care what Caldwell might think. She braced herself for an awkward conversation when she and John stepped out into the hallway.
Though John stopped right outside the door. "What is it?"
"Not here. Let's go to my quarters..." She seized his arm.
"I don't want to." He shook her hand off like an annoying bug.
"John..."
"Tell me here and now," he said, his voice as chilling as the color of his eyes.
"Fine," she whispered, straightening up. "I'm not pregnant. The test was negative. That's why I didn't tell you. Considering the result I thought it was irrelevant." She spoke in an equal icy tone. "I see I was wrong." She turned around then and fled the unbearable look in his eyes.
He didn't call her back.
*****
At last night had come. Elizabeth burst into her quarters. Her lonely quarters. John had made clear he was furious presented by his coldness. Only because of a stupid misunderstanding. She was fed up with the whole shitty day that went tremendously wrong. Why haven't I told him? Didn't I trust him to make the right choice? Didn't I want to give him the chance to actually make a choice? Not turning on the lights, she slipped under the covers of her bed, overwhelmed by regret.
"It's about time," John murmured. "You work way too much."
Elizabeth jumped. "For heaven's sake, John Sheppard. Of all the nerve..."
He seized her by the arms and pulled her close. "Don't say you haven't expected me."
"I haven't," she gasped. "I thought..."
He stopped further complaints by drowning her in kisses, lots and lots of sweet and intimate kisses. She curled up in his arms and returned every kiss fervently. Oh, how much I've missed him. His kisses. His touch. His scent. Her throat became tight and unshed tears choked her.
John let go of her. "What's the matter, sweetheart? Did I hurt you?"
"No. Not now." She buried her face against his chest. "It's just... I missed you so much and I thought you don't want me anymore."
He stroked her hair most tenderly. "That's silly. I was angry, yes, and disappointed because everyone seemed to know but me."
"There was nothing to know."
"Rodney said otherwise." He kissed her on the forehead. "He - of all people."
"That wasn't my fault. I never told him."
"I know this now." He nestled on the buttons of her shirt.
"How?"
"I confronted Rodney after the meeting you disrupted today and he confessed everything."
"Yeah, he and Carson started the whole I am pregnant story to tease you to make a move." She ruffled his hair. "Those sneaky geeks."
"Right, but tell me; in the case you would had been pregnant..."
"You would have been the first one to know."
"But why? As far as I heard Colonel Caldwell is the number one candidate for the paternity," he quipped, and then snorted.
She laughed. "I barely know that man."
"Rodney said otherwise."
"He played you for a fool. He already knew about us being together."
"Are we? Together I mean. You never said so." He was finished with unbuttoning her shirt. Casually, he slid it off her body.
Half-naked, she felt sensational defenseless. "Don't change the subject."
"I'm not." He smirked. "I missed you too." He caressed her shoulderblade. "A lot."
"Never do that again. Treating me like this."
"I'll try, ma'am," he said, sweetening the half-hearted promise by kissing both of her nipples.
She moaned in delight and leaned into him.
John chuckled. "Am I already forgiven? Just like that?"
"Yes, you are, somehow."
"I don't deserve you." He caressed the curve of her belly button. "Were you unhappy that the test was negative?"
"No, I was not. Are you?"
"I think to have a child in this place at this dangerous time wouldn't be good."
"Precisely."
"So you are not sad?"
"Not at all. Since the day you've returned from certain death I feel blessed. What else is there to wish for?"
"I didn't know you care that much for me," he whispered, spreading her legs.
"Did you think I'd hop into bed with every Truth or Dare challenger?" she teased, nibbling on his ear.
"That's hard to know, is it?" he deadpanned. "We never jumped into bed that night."
She thumped his ribs. "My point exactly. I let you take me in a puddle jumper. Are you seriously in doubt that I care about you?"
"Well, do you?"
She swallowed. Now's the time. Just say it. It's easy. "I love you, John Sheppard."
The gift of her confession turned him mute, overpowered by three words only.
In John's quarters though, a sapphire was gleaming in the scanty light of night.
