Beyond my Control - 14/24
Fandom: CSI:Crime Scene Investigation
Series/Sequel: Breaking the Ice
Disclaimer: I don´t own them but I love them dearly.
Summary: Grissom has second thoughts
Warning: Slash, M/M, Spoiler for "Jackpot"
Feedback: Yes, please. It´s the icing on my cake.
Released: November 2003
Word Count: 2.090
"I´m asking you now for the third time. Do you have any results?"
His boss turned around, ready to walk away.
"I was thinking..." Jeez! Those eyes. Cold. Icy. Crushing. "Never mind."
Grissom frowned, but left anyway.
Greg watched his back, until Grissom left his sight. Desperately sighing, he put his chin on his arms, trying to figure out, what he should do. Since he had slept with Grissom, he wasn´t himself anymore. He wasn´t capable to go on like nothing had ever happened between them. Grissom on the other hand, had obviously no problem to deny everything. He was as closed up as he could be. No sign of affection or concern. No sign of any feeling at all. Always looking at him in this cold way, while giving him orders. The last days, when Grissom had been gone to a small town called Jackpot, Greg had missed him terribly. But having Grissom back at the lab didn´t change anything. No. Not at all.
"What´s up, Greg? Are you lovesick?" Catherine interrupted his brooding curiously.
Caught in the act, he whirled around. "No."
She didn´t respond but smiled mysteriously.
After reconsidering his situation, Greg admitted truthfully: "Well, it doesn´t matter at all, but I am."
"Who is the lucky guy? Michael?"
He grinned, relieved. "No. Of course not. Never."
"Someone from the lab?"
"No," he lied, trying not to blush.
"Mmh. What´s the problem? Doesn´t he fancy you?"
"It´s ... It´s complicated."
"Come on, tell me. Maybe, I can help."
Greg hedged, but the encouraging look on Catherine´s face loosened his tongue. He was so desperate to talk to someone. "I thought, he does fancy me. We...we already slept together. But now, he keeps his distance. I don´t know, what´s wrong."
"Do you still want him?"
"More than ever."
"What´s he like?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, very determined, serious, mature, always in control."
"I see." Her eyes sparkled. "Maybe, he is afraid of losing his control. Better for him not minding you."
Greg was surprised. "You think so? You don´t even know him."
"Trust me. Take my advice and make the first move. Make him forget that he thinks that he is in control of everything. Being in control of everything all the time is an illusion anyway. It´s about time he get rid of that confidence."
"Wow. Okay. I´ll try. Thank you."
"You´re welcome." Leaving, she remarked teasingly: "Maybe, I do know him."
Agape, he stared after her. It took some time, before he could close his mouth again. His mind was rushing. She is just teasing me. She can´t possible know. Nobody knows. But then again what if she knows? Does it matter? It´s Catherine. She wouldn´t tell anybody, would she? And, on the other hand, she was right. I have to take my changes. Now, before I am getting nervous again. I have to act. Determined, he walked to Grissom´s office and knocked.
He went in and looked straight into Grissom´s icy eyes. "I need to talk to you."
"Finally, you have some results for me."
"What is it, Greg?"
Oh, very encouraging. "It´s about me. About us."
Grissom´s face became grim. "Us? There is no us."
"Yeah. I already got that message. You had me and than you threw me away."
"I never made you any promises."
"No, of course not. You didn´t say anything. You act, like it never happened..."
His boss interrupted him. "I don´t wanna discuss this right now."
"When do you want to discuss it?"
"Actually never. We have nothing to talk about."
"I see. Well, then there is only one more thing to say. Thanks for fucking me." He rushed out of the office.
For a long time, Grissom just stared at the spot, Greg had been standing on. He sighed. This boy. Why doesn´t he let it go? For God´s sake. What´s he bitching about? We did it. It was fun. End of story. Why did he make it so complicated? Grissom noticed a pleasing stirring in his groin and swore softly: "Damn it." He felt the urge to pay Greg a visit at his desk to make him suffer for getting him horny so easily. It wasn´t as simple for him as Greg thought. Seeing him every day at the lab let him fantasize a lot. Sometimes, he wanted to throw Greg on his desk and take him right there. Ridiculous, of course. It´s really better to forget about it. Forever.
Much later, at home, Grissom was watching the discovery channel, when a loud hammering at his door startled him.
"Open the door! Now! It´s me! Greg." His voice sounded different. The noise, which he made, could be heard in the whole building.
Grissom rushed to the door and tore it open. Immediately, he understood what was going on. "You are drunk."
"No," Greg babbled. "I´m just a little lightheaded from a relaxing trip to a bar."
"I see. That´s why you have decided to come here."
"Yeah. I needed to see my boss. The man, who has everything under control. Not like me, the little schoolboy."
"Get out of here."
"I can´t. I´m not like you. My behavior is beyond my control." He pushed Grissom aside and walked in.
"Go home!" Grissom gasped, stunned. "Didn´t you hear me?"
"Not really. I told you, it´s beyond my control. I had to come here!" Shouting the last sentence, he did surprise Grissom and himself. Suddenly, he stumbled over his feet and came down on his knees.
Quickly, Grissom closed the door and rushed over to him.
With misty eyes, Greg was looking up to him. His voice thick with longing, he pleaded: "Please, Grissom, I wanna suck you." Before the older man could react, Greg wrapped his arms around his hips and put his face against his crotch.
"Stop it!" Grissom ordered, trying to unwrap himself. "This is ridiculous, you are drunk..."
Rubbing his face against Grissom´s crotch, Greg mumbled: "I´m not that drunk..." Feeling the man´s cock harden, he continued: "You want it. I can feel it. I want it too. What´s the problem?" Clumsy, he fumbled on Grissom´s zipper, finally succeeding in pulling it open. A hard cock sprang out.
Still, Grissom tried to get the situation under control. "Greg, stop it. Now."
Licking the shaft tenderly up and down, Greg obviously didn´t want to stop. "I can´t. I dreamt so often about this. I want you so much. It´s so beyond my control."
Once more, Grissom tried to pull away, but finally scolded softly: "You´re driving me nuts. I should..." Giving in, he grabbed Greg by the shoulders and dragged him to the sofa.
"I wanna be on top," Greg demanded, sulking.
Amused, Grissom lay down and sighed deeply. "I surrender."
Wasting no time, Greg started licking his balls. First the left, than the right. Slowly.
Enjoying the moment, Grissom was watching him closely. Pleasure ran through his body. "Quit teasing. Suck me. That´s what you came for, didn´t you?"
Grinning, Greg lifted his head. "Still the boss, always in control."
Grissom´s eyes glimmered. "Please."
Satisfied with his boss pleading, Greg took the cock fully into his mouth.
A lustful moan escaped Grissom´s lips. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to let go.
Swallowing Grissom´s throbbing shaft, again and again, sucking him harder and faster, Greg was taking control.
Grissom grabbed his head, messing tenderly with his hair.
Greg´s heart skipped a beat. He doubled his efforts to make Grissom come.
"Yes." Only a soft whisper. Grissom couldn´t stop himself expressing his pleasure. This boy was talented with his mouth, an experience, he never had expected. This wet, soft, insisting mouth. He reached his climax fast and without a warning. Arching up, he gave one gasping sigh, while exploding.
Raising his head slowly, Greg licked lazily his lips. "Tasty." Immediately, he put his head down on Grissom´s chest, yawning. "I´m tired." After a few seconds, he slept like a trusting little kid.
Once again speechless, lying under Greg´s body weight, Grissom stayed put. His feelings drove him crazy. Why did Greg come here? He made everything much more complicated. Why didn´t he stay away? Why couldn´t he just let it go? Casually stroking Greg´s hair, he asked himself, how he could let this happen. I must be totally out of my mind. Well, it wasn´t my mind he fucked with, was it? I am much too old for thinking with my dick, am I? But, is it only that? I do like Greg very much. I even care for him. He makes me happy. Why didn´t I tell him? Didn´t I affirm a few days ago, I´m trying to be more open. Now is the chance. With Greg. Don´t screw it up again. He released himself carefully from Greg´s body and went for a blanket to cover him up. After a last look on Greg´s peaceful face, he went to bed.
Later at night, Greg woke up, having an urgent need to take a leak. A little disorientated, he stumbled to the bathroom. Finished, he remembered the way to Grissom´s bedroom and entered it without the smallest scruple. Quickly getting rid of his jeans and shirt, he went under the covers and snuggled to Grissom´s warm body. A soft grumble was the only complain from the sleeping man.
The next time, Greg opened his eyes, it was morning. Feeling cozy and comfortable, he shifted a little and was suddenly confronted by Grissom´s blue eyes.
"Morning, Mister Sanders."
Remembering the way, he had acted last night, Greg felt ashamed. "You want me to leave?"
Smiling fondly, Grissom shook his head. "No, you can stay as long as you want to. I was just surprised to finding you here. I didn´t remember taking you to bed with me."
"Well, I woke up, feeling lonely. So I did come to your bed myself." Fixed by Grissom´s blue piercing eyes, he blushed slightly. "I...last night..."
Swiftly, Grissom pulled him close and started caressing his neck. "What is it?"
"It´s just... I´m not used to this."
"I didn´t get that feeling last night, when you were sucking my dick," Grissom joked.
A little distracted by Grissom´s tongue in his ear, Greg sighed happily: "I mean, I was never before involved with my boss."
Getting hotter and hotter by Grissom´s touch, Greg tried to focus. "Have you known for long I´m gay?"
"Yes. I guessed it pretty soon. One good reason, I was keeping my distance to you."
Greg was all ears. "Ah. I see. You wanted me since you first laid eyes on me."
Laughing, Grissom grabbed him and pinned his body to the mattress. "Getting smart with me again?" A heated but sweet kiss followed.
Very much aroused, Greg admitted truthfully: "I wanted you from the first moment I laid eyes on you."
"Did you know I´m gay?" Grissom asked, perplexed.
"No. Maybe. Not really. You are so mysterious. Inscrutable. Sometimes, I thought you are with Catherine."
"Understandable. I´m close to her. She is a really good friend. She was the one, who told me about your weird behavior. She told me, you were acting this way because of me. She urged me to talk to you."
Well, Catherine you are really something, Greg thought with affection. Now I´m certain, you know. "She is the best. I like her a lot. Does she know you´re gay?"
"Earlier, I didn´t know. Today, I´m sure of it. Even though, I never outed myself to her. When did you know?"
"For sure? Not until you kissed me for the first time."
"Did I shock you?"
"Actually no. I was too excited, too happy about it. You know, I wasn´t happy for some time."
"Sorry, I made you so unhappy. I just didn´t realize it. I didn´t notice, what was going on."
"Yeah. How could you? You were never around me, anymore."
Obviously finished with the talking, Grissom´s hand slid down and started to explore the area around Greg´s bellybutton. "I will make it up to you."
Moaning softly, Greg revealed: "I was fantasizing so often about all this."
Grissom took his hand further to get a grip. "At work, I suppose. Impossible boy."
Feeling his cock harden, Greg teased: "It´s only your fault, Grissom. You..."
"For God´s sake. Call me Gil, will you?"
This offer and Grissom´s hand on his fully erected cock made him obey quickly. "Sure. Gil. If you insist. You´re the boss. As you know, it´s beyond my control."