Beyond my Control - 14/24

Author: Daniela
Fandom: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Pairing: Greg/Grissom
Rating: NC17
Category: Romance
Series/Sequel: Breaking the Ice
Disclaimer: I don't own them but I love them dearly.
Summary: Greg doesn't play ball when Grissom has second thoughts.
Warning: Slash, M/M, Spoiler for "Jackpot"
Feedback: Yes, please. It's the icing on my cake.
Released: November 2003
Revised: November 2019
Word Count: 2052
Beta: None


"Yeah? What?"

"That's the third time I'm asking you. Do you have any results?"

"No, I haven't."

His boss turned around and walked away.


"What?" His secret lover turned back.

"I was thinking..." Jeez! Those cold blue eyes. "Never mind."

Grissom frowned, but then he left anyway.

Greg watched his back until Grissom was out of sight. Gee! He put his chin on his folded arms. That didn't went the way he had wanted. What should he do now? Since he had slept with Grissom he was struggling through every day and night. He was done being ignored and couldn't go on like nothing had ever happened, though Grissom had no problem to deny everything. He was as closed up as he could be. No sign of affection or concern. No sign of any feeling at all. Always looking at him in this cold way talking shop only. The last few days Grissom had been gone to a small town called Jackpot and Greg had missed him terribly. Having Grissom back at the lab didn't change anything though.

"What's going on, Greg? Are you lovesick?" Catherine interrupted his brooding.

Oh, shit! He whirled around. "No! No way."

She smiled.

Okay. What the hell? Don't behave like a child. "Well, maybe I am. It doesn't matter."

"Who's the lucky guy? Michael?"

"Nah." He grinned. "Never. Not mature enough."

"Oh? But it's someone from the lab, right?"

"What? Of course not." Don't blush, idiot.

"Mm. What's the problem anyway? Doesn't he fancy you?"

"It's... It's complicated." Sure. That's the understatement of the century.

"Come on, tell me. Maybe I can help."

Okay. Why not? It can't get any worse, right? He was desperate to talk to someone for days. "I thought he does fancy me. We... we've already slept together. But now he keeps me at arm's length. I don't know what I did wrong."

"Do you still want him?"

"Oh, yeah. More than ever."

"What's he like?"

"What do you mean?"

"What kind of guy is he?"

"Uh... determined, serious, mature, always in control."

"I see." Her eyes sparkled. "Maybe he's just afraid of losing that control. Safer for him to shun you."

"Yeah? You're sure about that? You don't even know him."

"Trust me. Make the first move. Make him forget that he thinks he's in control. Having control of everything is an illusion anyway. It's time to break those fences down."

"Okay. I'll try. We'll see what happens."

"That's the spirit." She winked at him. "Maybe I do know him."

What the hell? He gaped at her leaving. She's just teasing me, right? She can't possible know. Nobody knows. But then again what if she knows? Does it matter? It's Catherine. She wouldn't tell anybody, would she? Well, and she's right. I have to take my chances. Now. Don't wait. Don't back down. Be a man. Right. Let's beard the lion in his den. Now or never. He walked to Grissom's office and knocked.

"Come in."

He burst into the room ready to jump on the desk to make his point. "I need to talk to you."

"You have the results."

"No, it's about you and me. About us."

Grissom's expression turned grim. "Us? There is no us."

"Yeah. I already got that. You had me and then you dumped me."

"I've never made you any promises."

"Why, no. You didn't say anything. You act like it never happened."

"I don't wanna discuss this here and now."

"Oh, right. When will we discuss it?"

"Actually never. There's nothing else to say."

"Okay. Fine. One more thing though. Thanks for fucking me." He rushed into the corridor and down the hallway as if he wanted to win a race.

For a long time Grissom stared at the spot Greg had been standing on and the door he had left open. Why doesn't he let it go? For God's sake. What's he bitching about? We did it. It was fun. End of story. Why complicate things? A pleasing stirring in his groin made clear he lied to himself. "Damn it." He felt the urge to pay Greg a visit at his desk. He longed to make him suffer for getting him horny so easily. Not giving in to his desires wasn't as simple for him as Greg thought. Seeing him every day at the lab let him fantasize a lot. Sometimes he wanted to throw Greg on his desk and take him right there. Stupidly outrageous to think like that. Better to forget about Greg and his feelings for him. Better to ignore him and make it hurt less. Right. Back to work.


In the evening Grissom was watching the discovery channel, though he was barely paying attention because he was daydreaming about Greg. A loud hammering at his door startled him out of his fantasies.

"Open the door! Now! It's Greg." His voice sounded strange. The noise he made was plenty to alarm everybody on the floor if not in the entire building.

Grissom rushed to the door and tore it open. He understood then what was going on. "You are drunk."

"No, not even close." Greg clung to the doorframe. "I'm just a little lightheaded from a relaxing trip to a bar."

"I see. That's why you decided to come here."

"Yeah. I needed to see my boss. The man who's in control. Not like me. The lab boy who doesn't know a thing."

"Get out of here."

"I can't. I'm not like you. My feelings are beyond my control." He pushed Grissom aside and walked in.

"Go home!" Grissom gasped. "Don't do anything you'll regret tomorrow."

"I told you that's beyond my control." He stumbled over his feet and fell to his knees.

Grissom closed the door and rushed over to him.

Greg was looking up to him. He had misty eyes and his voice was thick with longing. "Please, Grissom, I wanna suck you." He wrapped his arms around Grissom's hips and nuzzled his face into his crotch.

"Stop that." Grissom tried to unwrap himself. "This is ridiculous. You are drunk... and... and..."

"I'm not that drunk," Greg mumbled, rubbing his face into Grissom's crotch. "You want it. I can feel it. I want it too. What's the problem?" Clumsily, he fumbled at Grissom's zipper, and finally he succeeded in pulling it open. He snaked a hand inside and around Grissom's cock.

"Greg, stop it. Now."

"Oh, come on. Give me a break." He licked around the tender flesh of the head. "I can't. I dreamt so often about this. I want you so much. A desire beyond my control."

"You're driving me nuts. I should..." He grabbed Greg by the shoulders and dragged him to the sofa.

"I wanna be on top," Greg said, fluttering his eyelashes.

"Okay. Fine." Grissom laid down. "I surrender."

Greg reveled in his success by licking Grissom's balls. First the left, than the right. Thoroughly. Smacking his lips.

Grissom wallowed in the pleasure running through his body. "Quit teasing. Suck me. That's what you came here for, didn't you?"

Greg lifted his head, smirking. "Still the boss, always in control."


"Well, just because you're asking so nicely..." He swallowed Grissom's cock to the hilt.

Grissom groaned in bliss and closed his eyes. He was ready to let himself go. He didn't care who was in control. He just wanted to feel the unique pleasure his lover was giving him.

Eagerly Greg suckled Grissom's shaft, increasing speed and pressure at a steady pace.

"Yes, that's it." Grissom ruffled his hair. "Go on. Go faster." That mouth. Those soft insisting lips. That eager tongue. The alluring sounds he made. Grissom reached his climax way too fast. He valued the treat none the less, squirting off in superior quantity.

Greg lifted his head and licked his lips. "Jeez! Such a performance." He put his head down on Grissom's chest then, yawning. "I'm tired." A few seconds later he was asleep, snuggling up to him like a trusting kid.

Stunned Grissom stayed put under him, casually stroking Greg's hair. Why did Greg come here? He complicated things much more. How could I let this happen? I must be out of my mind. Well, it wasn't my mind he fucked with, was it? I am too old for thinking with my dick, ain't I? Sure, but is it only that? I do like Greg. I care for him. He makes me happy. Right. Why didn't I tell him that? Didn't I say a few days ago I'm trying to be more open? Now is the chance. With Greg. What about not screwing it up again. You did that already once in your life. Oh, god, no. Don't think about him. Not now. He wriggled himself free from Greg's delicious weight and went for a blanket to cover him up. After having taken one long look at his lover's peaceful face he went to bed.


In the dead of night Greg woke up. In need to take a leak he stumbled to the bathroom. Finished he remembered the way to Grissom's bedroom. He entered his bosses' sanctum without any scruple. Having gotten rid of his jeans and shirt he slipped under the covers snuggling up to Grissom. A soft grumble was the only complaint his lover made.

The next time Greg opened his eyes it was morning. Feeling cozy and comfortable, he shifted and was confronted by Grissom's blazing blue eyes.

"Morning, Mister Sanders."

Shame pierced Greg because he remembered the way he had behaved last night. "You want me to leave?"

Grissom shook his head. "You can stay. I'm just surprised to find you right here. I don't remember taking you to bed with me."

"Well, I was feeling lonely. So I did come to your bed myself." Grissom's quizzical expression made him blush. "I... last night..."

Grissom pulled him close. "What is it?"

"It's just... I'm not used to this."

"I didn't get that feeling last night, when you were sucking me off."

Aw. The sensation of having Grissom's tongue in his ear was the profoundest distraction. "I meant I was never before involved with my boss."

"That's good to know."

Greg tried to focus on something else than his longing for a fuck. "Have you known for long I'm gay?"

"Yes, I have. One particular reason why I kept you at arm's length."

Greg was all ears. "Ah. I see. You've wanted me since the first time you laid eyes on me."

Grissom pinned his body to the mattress. "Smart-ass." He sealed Greg's lips in a heated but sweet kiss.

"I've wanted you from the first time I laid eyes on you," Greg gasped, ready to be taken.

"Have you known I'm gay?"

"No, of course not. Well, maybe. Not really though. You are mysterious, or rather inscrutable. Sometimes I wondered if you were in a secret relationship with Catherine."

"Sure, you did. She and I are close. She is the best friend I have. She was the one who told me about your weird behavior. She said you were behaving this way because of me. She urged me to talk to you and make a move."

Well, Catherine, I owe you one. Now I'm certain you know. "She's the best. I like her a lot. Does she know you're gay?"

"I'm sure of it. Even though I never outed myself to her. When did you know?"

"For sure? Not until you kissed me for the first time."

"Did I shock you?"

"Hardly. I was too excited, too happy. I wasn't happy for some time, you know."

"Sorry, I made you unhappy. I just didn't realize you were into me."

"Yeah. How could you? You were never around anymore. You shunned me."

"Mm-mh." Grissom was busy exploring the area around Greg's bellybutton. "I'll make it up to you."

"I was fantasizing about this," Greg moaned, arching into him.

Grissom went further down, getting a grip. "At work I suppose. I've always said you're the most impossible guy."

"That's your fault, Grissom. You make me want..."

"For God's sake. Call me Gil, will you?"

Feeling Grissom's hand on his fully erected cock he had no choice whatsoever. "Sure. Gil. If you insist. You're the boss. As you know it's beyond my control."

CSI - Greg Sanders & Gil Grissom Fanfiction