Awake - 9/24
Fandom: CSI:Crime Scene Investigation
Category: Angst, Romance
Series/Sequel: Breaking the Ice
Disclaimer: I don´t own them but I love them dearly.
Summary: Greg has some problems
Warning: Pre-slash, Spoiler for "Inside the Box"
Feedback: Yes, please. It´s the icing on my cake.
Word Count: 910
Released: July 2003
"Greg, your hands are shaking," Grissom stated, perplexed.
"No, they are not," Greg denied simply. His big brown eyes were full of fear. He looked like a deer, which had been caught in the headlights of a car.
Scared? Scared of me? Scared of being punished? Grissom wondered but didn´t give in. "Put your hands up." He saw he had been right. Greg´s hands were shaking.
"They´ve been shaking ever since...." Greg admitted and glanced over to the destroyed section of the lab.
Grissom´s eyes followed his look.
Greg smiled, helpless. "I can´t make it stop."
"Does it affect your work?"
"If I were a bomb expert, maybe," Greg joked dryly.
Grissom didn´t smile.
"No, I think I have it under control."
Grissom felt the urge to hug him. He wanted to take him into his arms and kiss the sorrows away. He longed to comfort him. Shit. It isn´t professional to lust after my subordinate. A subordinate who is more than twenty years younger than me. Pull yourself together. "It will stop. If you need me I´ll be around."
Another boyish look captured Greg´s face. "Okay."
Grissom walked away before he was tempted to say something else. More stupid emotional stuff. He just hated to see Greg like this. So sad and scared. He was supposed to be happy and laughing all the time. He needed Greg to be the opposite of him. It made him happier and more relaxed. Liar. You want him to be far more than that. You just forbid yourself to go for it, to take a change, to take him. Greg wouldn´t mind. He wants you. Grissom shook his head in denial. No. No. No. He rushed on to bury himself in work.
A few hours later, he was reminded of the problem because he overheard Hodges talking to a bunch of labworkers.
"Did you see how his hands were shaking? How can he work accurately? In spite of this he is still Grissom´s favorite lab pet. Always number one to give him results. The first of us to be out in the field. Why? He isn´t better than us, is he?"
The men and women who had gathered around him didn´t answer. They had already seen their boss.
Hodges didn´t because his back was turned to Grissom.
"Well, if you want to be the number one, stop giving speeches behind my back," Grissom snarled, razor-sharp.
Hodges whirled around. He didn´t look ashamed. Why, no. He smiled, satisfied.
"Where is Sanders?" Grissom asked icily, giving Hodges no more credit.
"He ran out because Hodges bothered him about his hands shaking," Bobby said sheepishly. "He said Greg would never go out in the field again in his life."
Grissom glared at Hodges. "Obviously you know more than me. No final decision has been made in this matter." He turned to the rest of the group. "Go back to work."
They scattered quickly.
Only Hodges stayed. He appeared happy at the prospect of getting dressed down by his boss.
But Grissom didn´t give him the satisfaction. "You too, Hodges!"
Pouting, Hodges left.
Grissom went outside to look for Greg. At first he thought Greg was nowhere near the building but then he saw him standing behind a pillar. Grissom joined him.
Greg had wrapped his arms around himself. Maybe to keep his hands from shaking. "Hey, Grissom. You don´t have to say anything about me not having enough work to do. I´m back inside in a minute. I just needed some air."
"I wasn´t going to say anything like this. I was just concerned."
"Why do you listen to Hodges? I always believed you´d never listen to anyone. Ever. Not even to me," Grissom said softly. He was teasing but Greg wasn´t in the mood for jokes.
"That´s not true! I always listen to you. I would never doubt your word. Not on purpose." Greg pressed his lips together. Great! Another stupid confession. Go on like that and soon the whole lab will know you have a crush on your boss.
Grissom hid how flattered he felt. "I only wanted to say don´t listen to Hodges. He just envies you for being in the field."
"In this condition I´ll never do field work again."
"I told you it will stop and I´ll be here for you if you need my help."
"I know...but I´m...surprised to hear something like this from you."
"What´s that suppose to mean? I know I´m not good with people but even I...I have feelings..."
"Yes, of course. But you were never so nice to me. It makes me...."
"Nothing." Greg lowered his eyes and studied the ground.
Grissom breathed deeply in. Easy now. Easy. I have to be the grown-up. His other side - the not so mature side - was craving to kiss Greg. But no, no way he was giving in to his feelings. But he couldn´t resist the urge to stroke gently over Greg´s hair.
Greg´s head snapped around. He brown eyes looked close to tears.
Grissom cleared his throat. "It´s better we go back inside."
"Yes. Much better," Greg whispered huskily.
In the lab, Grissom gave him a reassuring smile. "It will stop."
Greg sighed unhappily. Really? Will it stop? The shaking of my hands, maybe, but what´s with the longing for Grissom? The wanting for him to stroke more than my hair, to kiss me, to make love to me? Jeez. I´m really sick.