Quotes from Television Without Pity

• Liam ,forever seeking approvel from Gil
• First Sara, now Catherine; doesn´t Liam meet any women outside the office?
• Liam: "I can take notes." Gil warmly says, "Very good. Go ahead." Wow-this is the Grissiomian equivalent of a hug.
• It took Grissom 50 minutes to smack Liam down. That´s some kind of record.
• Gil tilts his head, regarding Liam with the same academic curiosity he´d extend to a wound tract.
• I imagine that Liam having a hairstyle not conceived during a one-night stand, between a Black&Decker hand tool and a tub of Tigi Bed head might go a long way in impressing Gil too.
• Liam is puttering around until he sees Gil. Then he frantically scoops up a number of papers and tears out of the lab , screaming, "Daddy !Love meee!"
• Gil thanks Liam, who practically collapses from shock. On the inside anyway.
• Liam scrowling in his notebook, Note to self: The master approves, when you look for the reasons behind a physical clue. Also, The Master SMILED AT ME!!!!!

• If Gil keeps this up, Archie will be nipping at his heels to go for walks outside the lab, just like Liam.

• "Do us all a favor and get him out in the field , will ya, Grissom? He is making us all stir-crazy in here."
  "Not until season Four, my pet," Gil soothes. Oh, he does not. Instead, he just looks queasy at the prospect of having to manage Liam (hint: try a whip and a chair).
• Ah, Liam--so cute and so naive. I wonder if he cried last Christmas when Gil broke the news about Santa Claus to him.
• Liam says Gil loves his coffee. Gil claims he only likes the coffee as a friend. Kidding!
• Liam´s looking miserable and pitiable in his hospital bed, although you know he´s going to be milking this for everything it´s worth once he´s back.
• It turns out that Gil was in a hurry to see Liam, of all people.
• We immediately go to a montage wherein poor Liam hunts high and low through the neighborhood looking for the shredded remains of a soda bottle while his coworkers get to log evidence in the air-conditioned Labitrail. Liam wanders around for what must be days, if his whippet-thin frame is any indication.
• Just then, Liam flings himself into Gil's office to announce that he's found something. Gil is all, "Not now." It's a top-down style of mood-wrecking. Liam's not having it, though.
• Gil goes hauling ass down the Labitrail hall and interrupts Liam and Nicky's bullshit session to blare, "This swab is your new priority." Wow, he's in a really bad mood. Liam makes delaying noises, and Gil snaps, "Fill me in first! The sweat stain?" Liam dithers and bends to work. Anyway, Gil busts Liam and Nicky their chops with, "How can you be doing that when you're standing here?" Someone needs to learn not to take his mood out on others, Gil.
• Gil comments that old habits die hard. No doubt he'll be using that excuse to wreck Liam's day in 2025.
• Gil takes off his glasses and looks put-upon in a "my people are building pyramids and a burning bush wants me to take care of it" kind of way.
• Liam shows up at this point, mostly to reveal that he found ipecac and civet oil on the big blue kitty costume, but also because he's almost ready to challenge Peter Krause for the highly coveted Worst TV Haircut of All Time award and he'd like to get some last-minute grooming tips from Gil. Once it's clearly established that something from the outside of Blue Kitty's costume somehow ended up in Rocky Raccoon's stomach, Liam grins like the proverbial Cheshire cat and announces, "That's what you get for eating…"
• Gil looks over to see Liam the Lab Tech helping Catherine, and identifies him to Xander. "Is he on the case?" Xander asks. Gil essays an improvisational-feeling yes. Xander asks, "Hell of a time to break out the B-team, isn't it?" Hee. Gil gives him a cryptic look. I sometimes wonder if Gil deliberately cultivates a quirky loner persona so he can use it during moments when he's adrift.
• Gil asks Catherine if there's anything on the tapes. That's a big no; Catherine asks how it's going with Xander. Gil replies, "He wants to know why you're working with young Liam." Hee! Gil points out that there are two other CSIs who can pitch in on this, and Catherine says she needs someone without an agenda. Gil asks, "Like when Fung brought in Mazzola? Everybody lost." Burn! Nobody in law enforcement appreciates an OJ reference. Catherine protests, and Gil says, "A trainee on a career case?"
• Liam the lab tech, who's kitted out in a CSI jumpsuit and yet another hairstyle that looks like he tried combing his hair with a hand mixer, pops in and says resolutely, "I heard about the bombing. I'm here to help." Gil doesn't even make a scornful face; he just adopts a sink-or-swim attitude and says to Liam from on high, "I located the seat of the explosion. The bomb was attached to the fuel tank." Liam looks up like a good little supplicant and says, "Gas-enhanced. Bomber got the most bang for the buck." Now Gil looks a little impatient, and tells Liam that in this situation, "help" means "crawl around under the car and find the initiation switch." Liam lies down on a dolly and goes to work.
• Anyway, Gil sees the rubber band and asks if they're Spaghetti-Os. Gil, please. Don't make me think you can't even tell the difference between pasta and elastics. Liam says, "Those would be orthodontic rubber bands. Hook 'em to your braces -- upper, lower, helps align the jaws in the right direction. Also great for flinging. Yeah, I had it all -- palate expander, braces, retainer, head gear. Ah, five years of misery, but worth every penny, don't you think?" Yes. Liam has quite a nice smile.
• Don't ask Liam for answers: for once, he doesn’t have a handy window into a niche population. He does have a massive complaint about work: "I'm not the allergy expert. I'm trying to get out in the field, and you're trying to multitask me in the lab." Catherine points out, "I'm the one that actually put you on a case, not just talk about it." Liam points out that Catherine took him off the case too; she justifies it by using a baseball metaphor. Liam does not point out that you typically don't bring in a closing pitcher after the sixth inning (his arm would fall off), and snaps, "What am I? Fish or fowl?" He's foul-tempered.
• So I have no good explanation for why Sara's missing all the fun. She's picking crap out of the filter and examining it when Liam comes over and says, "I heard about the shower. A nurse, huh?" Oh, not again. Sara sighs, "Multiple hairs, multiple donors." Liam leers, "Looks like she had a few 'friends' over." Where is he getting his impression of nurses -- the local adult video store? Someone needs to tell him that Naughty Nighttime Nurses isn't a documentary. Sara nearly does after Liam continues, "A little Nurses Gone Wild." It's too bad she stops short of pulling his lower lip over his head and snarling, "Let's see you ask a nurse to go wild fixing that."
• Liam tells him, "Propylene glycol -- active ingredient in Rogaine, for male pattern baldness. Personally, I don't use the stuff, but my paternal grandfather, Papa Olaf, he was Bruce Willis at age 16. Lucky for me, baldness comes from the mother's side, so I'm safe --" Gil interrupts him, not to ask if Liam meant that propylene glycol was the predominant ingredient in Rogaine as opposed to the active one (which is the vasodilator minoxidil), but to snap, "Please! I'm very tired." Liam switches gears, hypothesizing that the killer is either going bald or trying not to, and may also be using Propecia (active ingredient: the testosterone-converting enzyme finasteride): "I ran the hair through mass spec and got four peaks: ethyl alcohol, propylene glycol, minoxidil and finasteride." Liam rattles on, "But wait -- there's more, and it's a family secret. Sexual. Happens to less than two percent of users. Papa Olaf was one of the guys who needed hydraulics." Gil looks uncomfortable knowing this about Liam's forefathers, then stalks off in disgust.
• Catherine and Warrick head into Liam the lab tech's lair; he's got a wooden stake ready for Catherine, and an extra crucifix for Warrick. You know he sees himself as a cool slayer type, but in reality, Liam would be sucking down the spiders as a modern-day Renfield.
• Gil then checks out their forearms and remarks, "Prison tattoos. They weren't virgins." That's a very personal assumption to make. Emergency Backup David says nothing; perhaps he's afraid Gil will begin commenting on everyone else's virginity as well.
• Warrick asks the rumpled-looking Liam if he just got off a shift. Liam says that Catherine called him to come help with the case. Warrick asks, "You look like a man who just rolled out of bed. You all right?" Liam replies, "Sara and I have been drinking for 36 hours straight. We're not going to stop until she beer-goggles in my direction." Oh, he does not. Instead he opens up a big can of worms with, "Yeah, why?" Warrick issues the sartorial smackdown: "T-shirt, sneakers. You're already half an hour late. Grissom'll rip you a new one if he sees you like that." Liam snorts, "Seriously."
• Catherine's charging on through the Labitrail while Liam trots behind her and leers that he's found something on her butt. Catherine breezily asks, "You checking out my butt?" and Liam hastens to assure her, "I was. As well as the four cigarette butts Sara found at the crime scene." Catherine replies, "Oh." Is she disappointed that the techs are actually working, as opposed to just lurking in the halls, hoping to catch a glimpse of her hinders? Liam tells her he sent the butts over to Hodges, then adds, "Your butt's fine." What, did he read Catherine's evaluation and the part about her not getting laid for months? Is he hoping that ninety percent of success is showing up?
• Cut to Liam rambling on in that way he thinks is both amusing and esoteric, and yet is neither. And yet, when Hodges does this, he gets booed on the forums.
• Liam is getting the most casual CSI education ever: it's like people only teach him when they remember, and there's been no evidence of coordination among any of the CSIs. Wouldn't it make more sense to actually lay out some sort of lesson plan for the boy?
• Gil congratulates Catherine on her thriving social life, and then Liam pops in to save them from the genuinely awkward part of the conversation by providing distraction with his troll doll hair. Seriously: it's like Sara flat-ironed his hair, and then someone stiffened it with rubber cement. He asks, "You got time for something a little weird?" "Not now, Liam. Come back when we're not talking about Catherine's sex life," Gil orders. Oh, he does not. Catherine just gives Liam a look like, Since when have you actually gotten to the point in two sentences or fewer?
• The sun is setting, and Nicky's now hard at work in the lab. Liam the Lab Tech comes over and intones, "You rang?" Holy cow! He's been set upon by a band of rogue hairdressers, who clipped him, stripped all the dye out of his hair, and left him looking like an adult. It's unnerving. It's like watching an episode from the future.
• Cut to Liam looking grim as he works. He is so totally going to leave Icy Hot in Nicky's gym shorts for this.
• Gil asks what Plastisol is used for, and Hodges replies, "Mostly [Liam the Lab Tech] wear." What, is this reply from personal experience?
• Sara runs out her leg, then gets caught in an inadvertent do-si-do with Liam the lab tech. The two hug, and Liam silently thanks inertia for slamming Sara into him without too much protest on her part.
• Liam lets Nicky walk off before adding, "I also got surveillance video from the bank." Why did he wait? Was he expecting Nicky to come bounding back up the hall, gushing, "I love the way you take an hour and a half to get around to saying anything useful. I love the way you get a little wrinkle, right above your nose, when you're running a GC. I love that after I spend a day with you, I can still smell acetone on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I close a case, and the first one when I'm on an open case." And then dramatic music swells, a pink cloud of romance fogs the Labitrail, and L. Brent Bozell's army of decency cadets have a collective embolism.
• Gil gets all geeky with, "The release of epinephrine and adrenaline on a roller coaster can produce a stimulatory effect. It enhances ejaculation. Or, um, so I've heard. You know, in journals. This has nothing to do with my roller coaster thing at all." Or something to that effect. Liam's now got a mental image all mixed up with roller coasters and ejaculation, and he wants nothing more than to go take a mental shower. He asks haltingly, "Is it probative to our investigation?"
• Liam comes in then and makes an eloquent argument for teaching more poetry in schools when he quips, "The semen in the cab / was just processed in my lab. / All I can say / is that Nevins was a cad." Yowch. Rhyme scheme, Liam! ["The scansion isn't the greatest either." -- Sars]
• Shortly after his disastrous conference with Sara, Gil runs headlong into another interpersonal exercise that makes him wish he had never been promoted to a supervisory position: Liam the Lab Tech accosts him and says, "I have information that will be of use to you, but before you get it, I need a decision." Why are all of Gil's subordinates under the impression that he's there solely to be bargained with or sassed back? Was the "No, really. Speak your mind. I'm secure in my authority" tack part of the 7 Secrets of Highly Successful Bearded Managers? Gil snaps, and Liam says, "I'm tired of being on the fence. Either I'm in the lab, or I'm in the field. Which is it?" Gil does not point out that he's in a position to eliminate both options. Instead, he tells Liam that if he finds and trains a replacement, he's good to run in the field. Oh, lord. Just what we need -- another regular in the lab.
• When we get back from commercials, Liam the Lab Tech is busy strolling through the halls with a woman who, amazingly enough, doesn't look like she's ten seconds away from smacking him. On this show, that's a first.
• Gil strolls in and Brass snarks, "You got something stuck to your shoe. Oh, it's just Sanders." Liam gives Brass a har-de-har look and goes back to wandering after Gil.
• Liam comments casually, "I've never seen the lights on in this place before. It's kind of like seeing a one-night stand in the morning for the first time." Gil just stands there, horror freezing his features as he's forced to contemplate a world in which Liam has a sex life. He turns to look at the younger man and Liam shrugs, "Beer goggles." Gil impatiently says, "This is your proficiency test, Liam. You might want to work the scene." Yes, like that. He's so irritated, the italics are audible. Liam promptly loses ten IQ points as he gives the scene as once-over. Gil prods him by noting that they haven't found a gun yet, and Liam says, "Victim was shot at close range in a crowd. Witnesses say there was a stampede. It would have been a good time to ditch the gun. Maybe it's still here." Gil tosses him a Liam Treat and then heads off in a different direction. Liam asks a little tremulously, "Where are you going?" Gil delivers the not-so-reassuring "Don't worry about me. Worry about you. It's going to be a long night."
• Chandra's doing DNA stuff in the fishbowl as Liam and Gil observe. Gil asks, "So. You like her?" "I like not being her anymore," Liam responds. Just then, Hodges skulks over to Gil and murmurs, "The sticky substance on the side of your gun is tape adhesive." Gil asks about the blue coloring, and Hodges tells him it's basic bathroom disinfectant. Gil asks, "So, Liam, how do you explain adhesive and toilet bowl cleanser on the gun?" Liam's all, "I don't know. I can tell you the toilets at the club had blue water." Gil looks impressed as he asks, "You inspected the toilet bowls for evidence?" and Liam promptly dashes his dreams of having the most thorough investigator EVER by saying, "Well, when you got to go, you got to go." Oh, please. Call me when you've just spent two and a half hours rerouted through a dusty, two-lane-road detour at 30 miles per hour, you've finished the last drop of the Big Gulp-sized Diet Coke you were drinking, and you're surrounded by nothing but empty, recently-cleared fields. That is the "when you got to go, you got to go" situation. Not that I'm still somewhat traumatized from that little diversion on the I-5 last July or anything. Hodges rubs salt in Liam's career wound by wildly telegraphing his disbelief, while Gil settles for asking incredulously, "At a crime scene, [Liam]?" And yes, he shouldn't have done it, but in his defense, did anyone ever tell him this? I mean, was there ever the moment when he and Nicky were checking out tire prints, and Nicky did the full-bladder tarantella? Or is Hodges right when he snarks, "Everybody knows you hold it"? Gil's working into a full rant: "You go across the street or next door -- somewhere other than the crime scene -- until you've cleared the restroom. Did you clear the rest room?" No, Liam did not. Gil's actually raising his voice now: "You could have flushed away evidence! Wiped away fingerprints from the handle! Make sure you include this in your field notes!" Then he puts on the Mean Daddy face and stomps off. Wow, he's pissed. Meanwhile, Hodges turns back to a miserable Liam and leers, "I like Chandra. She's cute."
• Dr. Robbins makes a long incision in the torso, and Liam the Lab Tech looks away for a moment. Gil watches him intently. He might actually be smiling, but the beard obscures it......Gil is watching Liam, who is just staring absorbedly. The autopsy commences, blood flying everywhere as David saws through assorted body parts. Liam cringes at the noise, but is otherwise cool. Gil keeps watching Liam. Gil seems like he'd be the most unnerving supervisor to work for ever......Liam surveys Hamburger Larry and looks distinctly unimpressed. Gil's all, "If you're going to be sick, be sure to do it in the general direction of this video camera, so I can mock you in staff meetings by replaying the tape over and over." Actually, Gil tells Liam to take his barfing to the sink......Gil instructs, "Take a look at the trachea. What do you see?" Liam sees foam -- "like the head of a beer." Gil gives him a look, and Liam apologizes for not immediately coming up with some sort of abstract and condescending metaphor a la Grissom. Gil's all, "No -- it's a good analogy."
• Back at the Labitrail, Liam's pounding the bejeesus out of dem bones, dem bones, them sewer bones, hoping for some DNA. Sara finally deigns to show up, sliding across the lab bench to say, "I heard you finally lost your virginity." "Nicky lied! We only cuddled," Liam blurts out. Oh, he does not.
• The strings of whimsy are playing in the background as Liam appears. Gil tosses him a sample cup and says, "Fill this up for me, will ya?" Liam heads off to do his master's bidding, and the strings get especially whimsical in his wake......Liam returns with the cup.Gil comments, "That took a long time. You may need a prostate examination." "Damn it, Nicky's exaggerating! All we did was cuddle!" Liam protests. Oh, he does not. He snaps, "My prostate is fine. I'm not a soda fountain." Gil then hands over a bucket and says, "Hopefully you are, 'cause I need a number two as quickly as possible." I guess he thought the highly technical term "stool sample" was inappropriate in a professional context. Before Liam runs off to eat a kilo of beans in hopes of rushing this request, he asks why Gil's collecting effluvia. Gil explains, "The body was found in a sewer, ambient temperature 80 degrees. The corrosive chemicals caused the body to decompose faster than normal. I want to find out how much faster. Today." Liam walks out of the room grumbling, "This is some kind of CSI hazing -- make me appreciate blood and semen more." Oh, just you wait for the awkward moment when Gil asks you to produce those.
• Warrick laughs as Liam leaves. It's not clear whether he's laughing because Mia thinks he's a tool, or because it's funny how Liam pretends to be into the hot women.
• Cut to Mia doing bench work while Liam grins at her. He's clearly in the throes of short-timers' fever. I have a feeling that at this point, he'd even make the goo-goo eyes at Hodges if it meant he'd be getting out in the field. And the summer's firing follies continue to dog this show. I'm guessing the writers were busy with the first few scripts while the higher-ups were busy figuring out who works on this show and who doesn't, and so were working under the mandate, "Write a lot of scenes with Brass and Liam. A LOT."
• Liam shows up then and says, "I retested the shirt and the blanket. Blood still matches Alicia Perez. The evidence supports this -- unless you'd like to second-guess that also." Warrick looks shocked. Liam's just become a man! It's like one of those ads in the back of the 1950s comic books where the 98-pound weakling sends away for the Charles Atlas centrifuge. Gil's all, "I just want to make sure things are done correctly," and Liam continues, "We all have to learn how to accept change. Mia's doing a great job. It would be nice if someone other than me said so." Then Gil demonstrates why he's merely a demanding boss and not an overweening prick by conceding, "You're right."
• "You know, you may not believe in God, sir, (Gil) but you do His work." Somewhere in Miami, a CSI sits bolt upright in bed and screams, "Those are fighting words! I am God's chosen CSI! I am not merely the red-headed stepchild!"
• Liam, unfortunately, is wearing sunglasses by Top Gun and hairdo by Beaker.
• And yes, Gil is so good, he can pull an intact fingerprint off a feather. Was it ever in doubt?
• Liam says perkily, "Just like being back in college, right?" Mia replies, "Sara says you didn't lose your virginity until you were 22." Ah, Clark County government employees -- having inappropriate conversations on your tax dollar. And I don't even want to know how Sara knows, unless Liam brought in a cake to celebrate the anniversary of the big day.
• "She was the belle of the ball," Liam says. I think he might want to reconsider whether "ball" ought to be singular or plural.
• Speaking of Catherine, she's flogging poor Liam to produce results from the hours of footage he's viewed. "I think my eyes need band-aids," he groans. "Tough shift," she shoots back. "You did say 'shift,' right," he asks. Catherine confirms that she did, and the Parents' Television Council members all backspace a few lines on the protest letter they've got open, then resume waiting for the next threat against decency.
• Speaking of people who could maybe benefit from a little medication, in bounces Liam, reporting to Gil that he's run down all the pills in Wendy Garner's bathroom, and "for the record, I really like having a penis." Gil has the look of a man who acutely wishes he were deaf again. Liam backs away from the oversharing ledge....
  ....Gil's phone rings right then and he has this conversation: "Grissom...yes...Mimosa? ......Yes...today...the Apple Martini, one o'clock. I'll be there." Liam stands there, disbelieving that people are calling Gil up to beg for lunch dates.
• This is the same lab where the details of the day Liam became a man are up for discussion.
• Fighting to keep his cool, Liam chokes out, "Grissom, we got a very young male D.B. by the dumpster." The shot switches to Gil's face; his head whips around and he looks alarmed, probably because Liam sounds like he can't decide whether to throw up or burst into tears. Gil promises to hop on over.
• Gil asks Liam if he's okay and Liam replies, "Hell, no, I'm not okay." Looks like candor will be a shared trait among the B-Minus Squad.

• Hodges looks up from Overbearing Coworker Monthly to snot, "I heard you had a real sphincter-pucker last night. So what kind of gun are you getting?" "The kind that kills supercilious bastard lab techs," Liam replies…in his head. Hodges continues to pick-pick-pick with, "CSIs get shot at all the time. Didn't they tell you that?" And Hodges knows this because?
• Frankly, those two boys may not be in nearly so much immediate danger as Liam, who practically has an "Assault Me" sign pinned to his back as he stands on the lawn outside Devine's house.
• Liam is our young Watson. Three guesses as to who plays Holmes.
• Sara's delighted and offers to take Liam out to celebrate his closing the case, but he's not convinced it's over. Sara nudges with, "I'm buying." Y'all, this behavior -- while enjoyable to watch -- is just baffling. I can't decide if this is Sara deciding to nurture young Liam like a fragile orchid, or Sara deciding that in a few short weeks, she'll be getting an awesome skunk stripe in her hair while Liam stands there nervously and squeaks, "Mizz Sidle, are you trying to seduce me?"
• Liam approaches Gil as the supervisor is sitting there at his desk working, and says nervously, "I want to go back to the crime scene." Gil takes off his glasses, a sure sign that he's intrigued. Or reacting. Or irritated. Okay, so it's not really a sure sign. Just suffice it to say that Gil responds.
• Liam is not making the connection nearly so quickly, in part because he is still shriveling in the white-hot glare of Gil's disappointment.
• Just then, the newest CSI ambles up and clears his throat. This CSI? You once knew him as "Liam the Lab Tech," but as he is no longer a lab tech, that name is no longer appropriate. "Greg Sanders" does not please me. And so, by fiat -- and backed up by intermittent survey results -- I hereby declare the erstwhile Liam the Lab Tech to be known henceforth as "Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three."
• Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three grouses that he looks like a dork, and Sara cheerfully lies that he looks like a professional. Well, really they're both right: he looks like a professional dork.
• Hodges takes the chance to make a cheap shot with, "And unlike some of the men in this lab, whose initials are Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three, and Why, God, Couldn't That Have Been Me?, she probably washes her hands.
• Sofia peels off before Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three, can suggest a fun-filled evening of candles, wine, and incense in celebration of closing a case. Instead, he merely asks Sara, "She's fitting in pretty well, huh?" Sara gives him a look like, "Yes. And she's even usurping my place as Gil's cerebral crush. Now if you excuse me, I have to go interrupt them. Awkwardly. It's my new thing." And she stalks off. Poor Grasshopper. All those candles, wine, and incense, and nobody to share them with.
• Gil looks at Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three. His boy wonder looks back at him. Gil looks at Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three again, then looks pointedly at the body. Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three follows the Grissomian gaze and sees nothing. Gil gives an eloquent eye-roll, whips out his forceps with a rather snippy gesture, then extracts a thin purple filament from Maurice's lips. Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three blusters, "Yeah, I saw that purple fiber. I was going to collect it, I was just gonna work on my own rhythm…" and trails off, all protests dissolving in the face of Gil's ineffable smugness.
• The table's also covered in semen. Again -- no warning about this prior to the episode. I suppose Man Juice is a sacred, beautiful vision in prime time, whereas a woman who enjoys a little something-something is profane in the eyes of Standards and Practices. Gil points this out to Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three in a tone that suggests that Grasshopper's furniture is also dripping with the stuff.
• As Gil wanders into the break room, his Adopted Son Number Three whines that he's finally regained feeling in his spine, thanks for asking, and Gil's all, "Did you take my silence to mean I was psychically communicating with you?"
• Anyway, Gil is busy pointing out how attraction can't be analyzed, which will certainly be news to all those online dating sites that think otherwise, and Grasshopper, his Adopted Son Number Three says, "I consider myself to be very open-minded. I find other people's predilections very intriguing." These two are minutes away from screaming at each other, "I AM THE MOST TOLERANT AND YOU ARE NOT!" and then Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three asks a question I plan on never, ever asking my boss, "What are your predilections? What gets your juices flowing?" Gil says flatly, "Someone who doesn't judge me," and takes off. Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three watches him go with a look like, "So, what you're saying is, you don't see yourself hooking up with anyone at work?" Gil keeps on walking, presumably to find other, more open-minded pastures.
• Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three chooses this moment to stumble in, and immediately asks as to the whereabouts of his Adopted Father. "Bathroom," Sara says calmly. Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three's expression telegraphs how very much he'd like to see the phrase "the powder room" reintroduced into polite conversation, and Sara explains that Gil's working the case.
• Liam's got a look like, You know, the DNA samples never cry. What was I thinking with this job?
• As Gil heads over, Brass asks him blithely, "What, you piss off Ecklie again? This is a hit-and-run. I was expecting Grasshopper, Your Adopted Son Number Three." "We don't call him that anymore," Gil snaps.
• Liam is clearly not using his pay raise on hair products. Or a haircut, for that matter.
• Liam's too distracted by his newest discovery: "A sex journal! Names of girls, dates, and sexual activities."
  "Boys and their conquests," Sara sniffs. Liam's reading through the entries. "I've never even heard of some of these," he marvels. Sara turns around and asks, "Really?" I have a feeling she's not averse to schooling the boy.
• "Can you put enough dry ice in Zach's room to approximate the level of carbon in Trip's room?" Sara asks. "Is that a dare?" Liam gives her a look like, I can't wait to hear that line in another context.