Author: Daniela
Fandom: E.R.
Pairing: Peter Benton/John Carter
Rating: PG
Category: Angst, Friendship
Series/Sequel: No
Summary: A private moment after a tragedy.
Warning: None
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I just love to write.
Feedback: Yes, please. It´s the icing on my cake.
Released: January 2011
Word Count: 491
Beta: None

"Lucy is dead, isn´t she?"

Benton´s silence was answer enough.

Carter turned his face away, hiding his tears. "It´s my fault."

"That´s nonsense, Carter."

"If I would have listened to her, if I would have been at her side...."

"You don´t know that," Benton said softly.

The sound of his voice, unfamiliar nice, almost soothing, made Carter feel even worse. "It should have been me."

"Don´t you dare say that!"

"That´s better. You being nice to me makes me all weepy."


Carter´s eyelids fluttered. "Thanks for saving my life, Dr. Benton...Peter..." The drugs were working at last, and he fell asleep.

Peter watched the sleeping man with mixed feelings. A tight knot in his throat made it difficult for him to breath. "Damn," he whispered, feeling utterly helpless seeing Carter´s pain considering Lucy. He could fix Carter´s injuries but he couldn´t fix Carter´s soul. Exhausted - he hadn´t slept over forty-eight hours - he dropped into the chair by Carter´s bed. John Truman Carter. Once his student and now his... What is he to me anyway? A colleague? A friend?

The door opened and Kerry came in. "Hey. I thought you´d like to get something to drink or eat. I can stay with Carter."

Peter noticed that she had cried. Lucy´s death had hit her hard. "No, thanks. I stay with him. Maybe someone could bring me some water and a sandwich." As hard as Carter´s death would have hit me. He shuddered.

"Sure. How is he?"



"Yes. It will take a while until he´ll get over this. But he´ll make it. He´s strong."

"He has to be," Kerry teased friendly, "he survived you, Peter."

"Did Carter say that?" There was no anger in his voice, only curiosity.

"No, of course not. Carter adores you. Everybody else on the other hand..."


She left. Benton returned to watch the pale face of the man who adored him. Oh man, Carter, what is it about you? Why do I care so much? Tonight you gave me quite a shock. I was scared shitless while I was busy saving your life. Since the first day you came to the E.R. you got under my skin and you don´t even know. How could you? I never gave you the smallest sign that I care about you. No, I did the opposite. I can´t handle that I like you. I never could. He took Carter´s hand and squeezed it softly. And sadly I never will.

When Kerry came back, carrying a bottle of water and a sandwich, she was gaping at the surprising image of two sleeping men holding hands. Not any men but Peter Benton and John Carter.

In the next hour, many people visited the room, some of them giggling, some just baffled speechless. One was bold enough to take a photo to have proof for one unbelievable event.

A week later, the snapshot was put on the black board.

The following disaster was beyond anything that had ever happened in the E.R.